I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my shit smells like andre
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
