Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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