Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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