i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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