I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
