I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
