He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
