How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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