Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They took my balls.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
