That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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