I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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