You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
