wat bout pragnant strippers??
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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