your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
