jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
