I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize