Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
