Cold hands, warm shart.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize