How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
