In the future we'll all be gay
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
