Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
