Everything about him screamed your future.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
