I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
