We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
