I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize