It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
