He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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