guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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