We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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