Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
