Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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