the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize