yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
