Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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