Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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