My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
