Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
