Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize