this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
