i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
