He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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