North Korea, Best Korea!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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