i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
