Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
