Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
