I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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