You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
