My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
