The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
