Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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