there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
