The maid of honor just puked.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
