whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
