why didn't you poke me back
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
