the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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