Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
